The crack smoking mayor of Toronto

Yes, I understand this post has absolutely nothing to do with writing, nor even anything about myself. But I just couldn’t help but share this little gem I came across just a short time back. While it does have to do with politics, I can tell you it transcends political parties and partisan squabbles of all kinds. For what is revealed in this video of the crack smoking mayor of Toronto is something sane people from any party can look at and ask themselves one simple question: how in the world did this guy get elected? Yes, I realize that the quality of our public servants has declined over the years, but really? Really Toronto? This is what you thought would be good for your city?

Anyway, if you have a few minutes, you absolutely must watch this video, or at least enough of the video to catch the infamous “8 second pause”. Trust me, though, the remaining few minutes are filled with just as many jaw-dropping antics from Toronto’s mayor.

–dp

On computers: why I hate Windows

Do I really have to say anything?

No, I don’t. But I will. I have never, repeat never, seen this kind of nonsense on any Mac I’ve owned over the years, yet what you see above has been the norm on every Winblows machine I’ve ever owned. Thankfully, this is the state of my “work” computer and not my personal computer — a Mac — that I use for writing and everything else. My Mac simply works, as has every other Mac I’ve owned. Oh, and because I use a Mac, I also have the privilege of using the best version of the best writing software ever developed: Scrivener.

–dp

Sign of the times

I recently had the pleasure of stumbling across this old sign. It was taped to the side of a beat up trash container at a local Shell gas station. When I first saw it, I literally did a double-take. Then I stood for a moment and pondered just what kind of people must live in this city such that there’s a need for such a warning:

Is this really necessary?

I’ve come to the conclusion that, to quote The Joker from the first Batman movie, “This town needs an enema.”

–dp

Seriously Apple? Seriously?

Apparently we have hit the bottom of the barrel in patents. Like I said, “Seriously Apple?”

You're kidding, right?

What next? A patent for the return key?

–dp

Just when you thought you’d heard it all

I suppose it’s naive to ever believe that we’ve reached the end of the decline in public morality and federal government commonsense such that something can’t come along that makes you shake your head in disbelief as you stare, slack-jawed, at your computer. But naive I must be. Once again, the real world has picked me up, slapped me upside the face, and yelled at me, “Seriously, can you believe this? Can you?” Invariably, after I regain my wits, I reply, reluctantly, that yes, I can believe it.

First, read about the man who wears diapers and wants the federal government to support him because of it.

Now, for fun, understand a little more about exactly what infantilists really are.

Finally, repeat to yourself ad nauseum: The world really isn’t going to hell in a handbasket, the world really isn’t going to hell in a handbasket … and hope that it’s true.

–dp

Do they really pay attention to what they write?

So, normally it’s the federal or state government that does things that make you go, “huh?”. Not so this time. This is actually from a health insurance letter I recently received. Thanks go to Debbie who noticed this little gem.

Seriously?

I don’t know. Maybe I’m missing something …

–dp

Seriously, California? Seriously?

Three more reasons why the state of California is swirling ever faster down the toilet. The state is broke, businesses are leaving, houses are in foreclosure, Mexico is creeping further and further into the state, and the job market is terrible. So what does that mean to California’s lawmakers? Why, obviously, it means it’s time to avoid dealing with the tough issues and instead head straight for the ridiculous.

Good Lord. If this state was a human being, it would be placed on suicide watch. Go ahead and read. Make your day.

You know, making a bed is dangerous work.

There’s really a California Domestic Workers Coalition?

Sure, give money to illegal immigrants. Why not? We’ve got plenty.

There you go: sheets, baby sitters, and giving money to illegal immigrants. What a banner day for the state.

Seriously, California?

–dp

Seriously?

So, these days if you want some pot, you can pretty much go to any street corner, walk into your local collective, and buy some of what’s called “medical marijuana”. Yeah, that’s right: medical marijuana. Purely medicinal purposes, huh? While I believe there are a (very) few legitimate uses of marijuana for so-called medicinal purposes, I can assure you that in and around this fair city, we have way more potheads than truly deserving patients. These days, pretty much any complaint will get you a “recommendation” (that’s what they call it, a recommendation … not a prescription) for marijuana; in fact, it’s become so popular and lucrative that a number of doctors fly in each week to hand out “recommendations” to the many who are willing to stop by their office, complain, and, oh yeah, pay up.

It’s basically just a big joke, and we all know it, right? Right. So why am I even writing about it? Well, on my way home today, I had to drive through downtown. When I stopped at a red light, I looked  to my left and noticed a nicely painted sign on the window of a local business. After a double take, and recovering from laughing, I whipped out my iPhone and snapped a quick pic of what has to be one of the most clever names for one of these dispensaries that I’ve ever seen. Sort of makes it sound like a place you might take grandma for her arthritis pills.

A pot store that really cares about its addicts ... uh, users ... umm, customers ... hmm, patients?

Hmm … so that’s what they are, huh? Compassionate relief centers. Uh, yeah …

–dp

Somewhere, someone thinks these are good ideas

Every week I’m inundated with various offers for credit cards and, occasionally, loans of one type or another. In large part, they are semi-reasonable in nature. You know the kind: zero percent interest for X months, then some decent percent rate after that (variable, of course, which should cause most normal folks to think of Shakespeare and the proverbial rub) Occasionally, though, I get offers of credit that are not only bad, they are obscene. They are so awful, I feel sorry for anyone so naive about financial matters as to be unable to distinguish these horrible abuses of credit from those that are sensible if used properly.

Rather than describe in words these ridiculous attempts at stealing  taking my money, I think visual aids are called for.

First, for those desiring a cash advance, simply try the obvious and  hope they won’t notice the (loan shark) interest rate:

See that? Only 23.99% interest. Awesome. Not that bad, right? Well, depending on  your balance, if you pay the minimum payment it could take anywhere from a year to three decades to pay off your credit card. Sweet.

Second, make me feel special:

Check it out. A platinum card from First PREMIER Bank. It must be really good. And I only have to pay $25 dollars to apply (which I can pay off over time, of course). But first, let me put my brain in neutral so I don’t remember how hard I’ve worked to get my credit score into the mid-eight hundreds. I guess these days all that will get you is a whopping $700 credit line for only $175 per year (leaving you start out with all of $525 available credit). Amazing. I can’t wait to have this card in my wallet.

Finally, attempt to make me feel like a member of America’s elite:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Apparently, use of words such as “exclusive”, “prestigious”, “limited”, and “luxury” on a Visa card that is black is supposed to make me feel as if I should be embarrassed to even question the legitimacy of charging the (ridiculous) sum of $495 dollars (per year!) for the sole purpose of slipping one of these bad boys into my wallet. It must be worth it, though. because like it says, “The world awaits.”

Uh, yeah …

–dp