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Norman is our eleven year old, white miniature Schnauzer. We inherited him about four years ago, but to be honest it feels like we’ve had him forever. He’s a wonderful dog with a sweet, loving temperament. Unfortunately, there’s something about Norman that just about drives everyone in the family crazy: barking. If someone knocks at the door or rings the doorbell, he barks. If he’s looking out the window and someone walks by, he barks. If a dog walks by in the back yard, he barks. Pretty much the only time he doesn’t bark is when something isn’t going on and he’s “resting”. Actually, when he’s “resting” he’s preparing for the next opportunity to bark. Nonetheless, we love him dearly and he’s great little dog.

Now, notice that I referred to Norman as a “little” dog. This is true, up to a point. He is a miniature of the breed, and weighs in somewhere between eighteen and twenty pounds. What Norman doesn’t seem to understand, though, is that eighteen to twenty pounds does not a lap dog make. Yes, that’s right: Norman now believes he’s a lap dog. These days, he’s taken to spending a large amount of time like this:

He thinks he's a lap dog

Norman the lap dog

Yes, that’s Norman on my lap. Apparently he doesn’t mind hanging over on three out of four sides. After a few days of doing this, Norman decided for something a little different. Here’s what he thinks he’s going to do from now on:

He thinks he's quite the dog

He thinks he's quite the dog now

I soon discovered that while Norman’s quite happy to lounge around like this all day, it isn’t a very productive way for me to try and work. So, I had to let Norman know that, at least for now, the most he’s getting out of me is my lap. Perhaps someday I’ll figure out a way to work productively with one arm. If I do, I’ll be sure to let Norman know.


Categories: Family, Life
  1. May 28, 2012 at 9:51 pm

    lucky for me my helper is so small she snuggles into my robe and sleeps…

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